A BIT OF EVERYTHING.

Desires are carved out of lust, with a fire burning inside.Who else agrees? We as human beings are attracted to what is not right for us.Today while i was having my morning coffee out of blue it made me wonder why we humans are so vulnerable creatures to emotions,especially one specific emotion. Love, the emotions that blinds us completely.We give in to love too easy, we fall head over heels for the wrong guy, Maybe for all the right reasons though.( at least we convince ourselves so) For me it was different with every guy.I was always a believer, I believed in fairy tales. I believed in happily- ever-afters. How often have we seen such romantic endings to a million love stories and then sighed and gone back in time to the moments spent with that special someone and thought.There are times in our lives when we meet that special guy and life becomes beautiful and worth living. Some start out as friends and then realize one fine day that this is the person i can't seem to live wi...

I believe it's a combination of not understanding what suicidal feelings are like, and not understanding how much it takes to decide you don't want to live any more. why do we forget that we are designed to survive. We have the evolutionary survival instinct to keep us going so we can make more humans and carry the cycle on.Is that all that is to it ? To get to the point where you are fighting your true being, something must be intrinsically wrong. When it feels like your whole world is wrong and there is nothing but pain, the idea of stopping that pain is all you want. My perspective is some of us realize the world for what it's worth, how society is structured, and based upon these observations I don't think I'm meant to be here,I don't think I'm enjoying myself at all, ever. I don't think anyone deserves to live this way. Is it cowardly to opt out of an experience you never signed up for? Is it cowardly try to escape what you cannot handle? I think ...

Yes...i do know life isn't about rainbows and butterflies always,and i learned this the hard way. Some days it just doesn't feel right , doesn't feel like i belong. I try to fit in like any other normal person does , blend in with the crowd but somehow even in the noisiest crowd i feel hollow inside. Is that normal? Does all of us sometimes feel the same way? I don't know about anyone else but this feeling has been my only constant friend for a long time. Growing up as a obese kid always had left me wondering with how my life would have been if i were just like everyone else, not only in my childhood , this has affected me in ways i couldn't have imagined, of course when i was in my teens i was a bad-ass , but being obese had limitations, i grew up being socially awkward , i'd avoid crowds , i had such low self-esteem and my confidence level? Don even get me started on it! Even to this date i am still insecure with everything about me.This has been life for me...