LACUNA.

You are the universe expressing as a human. You came to my life and everything suddenly froze there for a moment. I could write a million plus reasons why i feel the way i feel about you. You had me shining brighter than the sun and with a blink of an eye it was gone.The good sun was gone.It wasn't suppose to go this way, they say the way someone leaves tells you everything about them. I refuse to believe that. Because i know he wouldn't do anything to hurt me...You are the silence i turn to when everything else gets too loud. He knows me inside out, I refuse to believe he would feed on my vulnerabilities and then just abandon me.Was i selfish to hold on? Could it have ended as a 'Happily ever after?' - I wonder what would have been the tale, had it continued the way it did,some called us 'self-destructive' but hey who knew self-destruction felt so sultry,seductive, enticing...yes everything about it felt sexy and welcoming to the core...every time he held my body against his..i felt it shatter my soul with lust and desire,i wanted nothing but that tenderness.The slightest bit of thought - ugh! makes me weak in my knees.He just wasn't a habit anymore I had a need for him. He made me feel good. He had me wrapped around his fingers and each time he held me in his arms, I'd crave him even more.He became my safest place. My human diary and the moon i'd seek in the middle of the day.Sometimes you just cannot explain what it is about someone that you feel drawn towards them, there's no simple explanation, there's no words to describe. It is what it is. Its just the way they take you to a place where no one else can. You know..what i'm trying to say here .. You see him and there's just this whole positive energy and vibe, You instantly flow together ...Its like my soul saw him and it kind of went like- 'There you are, I've been looking for you'.

Wearing the inside out.

Maybe the hardest part was accepting the truth about it all. Knowing that there would be an end to it and not being able to be prepared for what was coming. I could never be okay with the fact that he was gone. Because he was there for a long time making me feel that i was worth every bit, He'd listen to me and despite the mess i was ,he always saw the best in me and i needed that. He gave exactly what i needed. but then again i was the ruin of him, Lust or Love - i rolled the dice and he was climbing every ladder with his eyes closed , trusting that i would not lead him astray. Intentionally or not I was closing multiple opportunities , chances and several doors for him, its like time froze then and there itself for us, because all we wanted was that feeling forever. I was not making him a better version of himself, rather i was consuming him whole,his life.The chase was too high , it burned too bright that i was blinded to see that i was slowly taking his life away from him.I needed to set him free.Let it be and Let it live.There's no one that could replace that piece of my heart which belongs to him.Maybe it wasn't the right place or the time of the day.Maybe someday we'll come back as strangers again feeling foreign to each other,Maybe it would be different.Maybe our story would be different.Because right now i am chaos to his thoughts and he is poison to my heart.
IN ANOTHER LIFE,I'LL SEE YOU AGAIN.